The end of a calendar year is always a good time to assess the things going on in your life and what’s working for you versus what isn’t. While 2016 has gotten a bad rap as the year from hell on a global scale, I have to say in my personal life, I’ve been thriving. After a really awful 2015, I set out to light my inner spark again this year and kind of made 2016 my bitch. Things are looking even better for 2017.
For me, this year was all about looking inward and tackling some real issues I’ve always let sort of simmer under the surface of my life. I spent some serious time with my therapist during the first half of the year digging deeper than I ever had before, and what came out of that were some helpful ways to manage my anxiety and overall mental health. It was the project I didn’t realize I needed to take on before I could move forward, and I’m so glad I did it.
What I learned about midway through the year was I don’t have to be Morgan on anyone else’s terms – I’ve learned I have the freedom to choose who I want to be even if it’s a far cry from who I’ve been and who I may be tomorrow, in four months, a year or more from now. I’ve gotten better at recognizing when I’m feeling shame or anxiety around a situation or a relationship and I’ve found ways to manage that so it doesn’t debilitate me, but rather empowers me.
What’s followed from all of this is a year full of love, positivity and balance.
I’m engaged to the partner of my dreams.
I’m 20 pounds lighter (and counting!)
The people in my life don’t suck.
My career is on an insanely amazing path.
I’m not as stressed, tense or edgy as I used to be.
I meditate and it actually helps.
I’m at peace with where I am right now, and that is such a gift.
So, as I sit here and look at what’s still lingering in my life and what’s working versus what isn’t, this blog falls into the latter category. It’s no secret the blog’s been pretty bare this year, as it was one of the first things I “let go” of when I decided to set some things aside to better manage my anxiety. The truth is, not having that pressure to be a certain kind of blogger with certain images and specific deadlines for every product that landed in my mailbox and pouring money into a hobby that doesn’t yield very much satisfaction simply makes me happier. I know so many incredible and talented bloggers in this space who are made for this, and I’ve found I’m better suited to be someone who admires them from afar and supports their work instead of being among them. It’s simply not my calling, and that’s ok.
My personal growth continues to be something I am working on every day – I still have a long way to go, and I don’t think that’s something that ever ends. I’m focused on my career, my relationships and my happiness right now. I hope to find more opportunities to write down the road, and I continue to work as a freelance makeup artist – I truly get such creative satisfaction from that. It’s a hobby that does give me more of a return both financially and emotionally, and I’m looking forward to keeping that going on the side for 2017.
If there’s anything I wanted to convey from this, I think it’s just to do what makes you happy today and don’t feel badly if tomorrow that thing just doesn’t do it anymore.
We evolve, and that’s OK.
Thanks for sticking with me if you have been these last couple of years. It’s been fun!
Cheers to the next year, and beyond.